tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34057524190541003952011-11-27T15:34:20.971-08:00FC Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17669145185714915759noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405752419054100395.post-42820967919543839312008-12-08T05:35:00.000-08:002008-12-08T05:41:23.951-08:00In year 2007, when my son was in the terrible 2-3 stage, there was once i caned him so bad that the 'lines' stayed on for 3 full days!<br /><br />It started innocently enough, I was correcting something that he should not do, I can't even remember the details now....<br /><br />He ignored me, even after much staring, verbal warnings, finally action has to be taken...At first, it was a gentle stroke to let him feel the pain... he was stubborn and refused to obey...<br /><br />So, I started caning with a little more strength...then i lost it... totally lost it...<br /><br />His eyes were red, and he was crying, screaming, running behind his grandmother, but it did not help... I was persistent that he 'learn' his lesson... I gave him a couple of good, hard whacks and that explains the 'lines' that stayed with him for 3 days...<br /><br />After canning him, did he 'learn' the lesson?<br /><br />Unfortunately, no no... with his red, wet eyes and hiding behind his mother, he starred at me stubbornly... his eyes were telling me that he did not agree with me, whatever the issue was, and he still did not think he did the wrong thing... but he is fearful of me at that point, or rather, fearful of the canings....<br /><br />After canning him, what lesson did I learn? The two lessons I learnt are:<span class="fullpost"><br />1. using violence does not make him 'learn'<br />2. using violence makes him fearful, for a while, at that point<br /><br />The most important lesson I learn is this:<br />I gave him the impression that when I cant talk it out, violence is the way to solve the problem.<br /><br />Since this incident, I threw away the cane and never caned him again...even when i am very very angry with him, violence is never an option, I want him to think that way too...<br /><br />What do you think?<br /></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/3405752419054100395-4282096791954383931?l=familyparenthood.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>FC Limhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17669145185714915759noreply@blogger.com0